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BDSM Glossary

Writer's picture: Nicholas JardineNicholas Jardine

Updated: Apr 3, 2024

What is a BDSM Glossary?


A BDSM glossary is a list of technical terms or abbreviations that may be unfamiliar to some readers.


BDSM Glossary
BDSM Glossary



A relationship characterised by continuous protocols and dynamics.



A fantasy where the focus is on the submissive entering an altered mental state of a different species, such as a dog, cat, or horse.



The wearing, grinding, or rubbing away of skin through friction.



The period of time after a BDSM scene or play session where participants calm down, discuss the events, process their reactions, and transition back to reality. Proper aftercare is important to ensure emotional well-being and prevent sub-drop.



A form of role-playing where participants intentionally act an age different from their own, often younger, as agreed upon before a scene.



The submissive acts and/or dresses like an animal, such as a puppy, cat, pony, or cow.


Auctioned off:


The act of a Dominant auctioning off a slave to the highest bidder, usually under supervision and for a temporary period.



Pain that goes beyond agreed limits, is non-mutual or non-valued, unwanted, and offers little or no value within the given context. Good pain refers to pleasant, desired, and mutually agreed-upon pain, similar to the difference between post-workout soreness and accidentally stubbing a toe.



The act of whipping the sub's feet, often while restrained, as a form of impact play.


BDSM:


Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. An acronym used to encompass various activities and relationships within the kink scene.


Blood Choking:


The act of restricting blood flow to the brain to induce temporary loss of consciousness. Also known as "choking out," it is considered edgeplay and subject to debate within the BDSM community.



Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner, ranging from partial to total restraint.



The recipient of physical sensation from a top in a scene.



A Bratty Submissives is a type of BDSM label, in which a sub (in most cases) enjoys misbehaving to their dom, caregiver, etc.



A brat tamer is a dominant within the BDSM culture who disciplines a naughty or disobedient submissive partner ,also known as a brat.



The act of tying the breasts in a way that flattens them against the chest or causes them to bulge.



Torture or stimulation of the female breasts.



The dominant partner controls the submissive's breathing.



A pear-shaped anal toy with a flared base to prevent it from getting lost inside the anal cavity. It can come in different sizes and may vibrate. Sometimes used in pet play with an attached tail.



A common BDSM toy and activity involving striking someone with a cane, usually on fleshy areas of the body. Caning is also popular on the bottoms of the feet.



A form of erotic sexual denial where a person is prevented from accessing or stimulating their genitals, usually with a device like a chastity belt or cock cage, controlled by their partner.



Torture or stimulation of the male genitals for sexual gratification.



Refers to a submissive or slave who is owned, typically within a loving intimate relationship. A dominant may have multiple individuals collared. It can also refer to the status of a pup, distinguishing them from a "stray."



The formal acceptance by a dominant of a sub's service or the "ownership" of a pup by a Master or Trainer. It can also refer to a ceremony when a dominant commits to a sub, similar to a wedding or contract.



Mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship.



A mutual agreement that, within defined limits, consent will be given without prior knowledge of the exact actions planned. It requires trust, understanding, and clear safe limits between partners.



A written agreement between the dominant and submissive, formal or informal, outlining the structure, guidelines, rules, and boundaries agreed upon in their relationship. It is not legally binding.


Corset/Tight-lacing:


A fetish that explores power exchange and shape-changing through the use of corsets, which can sometimes restrict breathing.


Cupping:


A practice where heated glass cups are placed on the skin, creating a vacuum as they cool, resulting in a bruise-like pattern. It can also potentially break the skin if done intensely or with excessive heat.



A Daddy Dom embodies the role of a paternal figure within a relationship, often displaying traits of protectiveness and firmness, while also exhibiting affection and understanding. Frequently inquired about.



A degradation kink is the opposite of a praise kink. In this one, someone is highly aroused and sexually satisfied by having a partner say degrading, insulting and humiliating things to them.



Dungeon Monitor, a person responsible for supervising interactions and enforcing rules at BDSM events or play parties. They may also help facilitate the smooth running of the event.



A person who exercises control in a BDSM or power exchange dynamic, contrasting with the submissive partner.



Dom drop in BDSM refers to the emotional and physical exhaustion that dominants may experience after intense scenes or activities. Similar to sub drop, it's caused by the energy expended in maintaining their role.



A woman who exercises control in a BDSM or power exchange dynamic, also referred to as a Dominatrix. Some prefer using non-gendered terms like dom or dominant.


Drop:


A feeling of deflation or mild depression that occurs after a kinky scene, party, convention, or conference. It is often caused by the removal of positive stimuli and endorphins associated with play or being in the presence of the kinky community. It can affect individuals in any role within the BDSM community.



Dominance/submission, referring to play or relationships involving an erotic power exchange.



Typically a designated space equipped with BDSM furniture and tools for engaging in BDSM activities and play.



SM play that involves a significant risk of harm, either physically or emotionally. The definition of edgeplay varies based on individual preferences, so there is no universal list. However, some common forms of edgeplay include foreplay, gunplay, rough body play, breath play, and bloodplay.



The practice of using electrical stimulation to stimulate the nerves of the body for sexual pleasure, body modification, tickling, or torture. It involves the use of power sources like TENS, EMS, Violet wand, or specialised devices designed for play.



Endorphins are chemicals that create a euphoric "high" and are released during intense experiences. BDSM activities, particularly those involving sensation play, can trigger an endorphin rush, providing a reward to the submissive. Aftercare is important to prevent sub drop as the body returns to its normal state.



The act of cleaning the anal cavity and rectum, often considered a fetish preference.



Keeping someone sexually aroused while delaying or preventing their release, creating a state of heightened anticipation, tension, and sensitivity. It can be part of tease and denial play or chastity dynamics.



The act of spanking another person for sexual arousal or gratification for one or both parties involved.


Fetish:


A specific obsession or delight in an object or experience that creates sexual arousal or gratification.



A social networking website similar to Facebook, specifically catering to the kink community. Users can share pictures, statuses, writings, find local groups, make friends, and organise events.


Figging:


The practice of inserting a piece of ginger root into the anus or vagina for its stimulating effects.


Fire Play:


The use of fire as a tool in BDSM activities. This can involve directing the heat from a torch onto a submissive's body, lighting pools of fuel on the skin, using flash cotton, and other creative uses of heat. Cupping is sometimes considered an offshoot of fire play, although it is more similar to the use of clips and clamps. Fire play is generally considered edgeplay.


Fisting:


The act of inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum.



Floggers are a common BDSM toy consisting of a handle and multiple tails made from materials like leather, suede, or hair. Flogging can produce a range of sensations, from sharp stings to heavy thuds. It is best suited for areas of the body with ample flesh, such as the upper thighs, buttocks, or upper back (but not the lower back). Floggers come in various sizes and can have different numbers of tails, often named accordingly (e.g., cat-o'-nine-tails).



The practice of inflicting torture or intense sensation on the genitals.



Pain that is consensually agreed upon and desired by the submissive partner, viewed as enjoyable or valuable by them.



The act of urinating on another person or being urinated on by another person.


Gorean:


A subgenre based on the rituals and practices depicted in the erotic novels of Gor by John Norman. Gorean culture often involves stereotypical gender-based roles, which some consider to be in conflict with the principles of BDSM that allow freedom for individuals to assume any role regardless of gender (e.g., Dom/sub or Top/bottom).


Handkerchief Codes:


Visible signals used to indicate one's BDSM interests; wearing a specific colour on the left signifies a top, while on the right signifies a bottom.



Activities or practices that someone absolutely refuses to engage in, non-negotiable boundaries (in contrast to "soft limits").



A group of submissives serving one or more dominants.



The act of restraining a submissive's wrists and ankles, securing them together behind their back using physical restraints like rope or cuffs.



It refers to the "recurrent and intense sexual arousal from the act of being humiliated, beaten, bound, or otherwise made to suffer, as manifested by fantasies, urges, or behaviours.



A type of sensation play that involves delivering impacts using implements such as whips, riding crops, paddles, floggers, and similar items.



Animal roleplay where the focus is on role-playing as a dog.



Also known as Shibari, it is a Japanese style of bondage or BDSM that utilises visually intricate patterns created by tying the bottom with thin ropes.



The deliberate, methodical use of knives to sensually stimulate the bottom, often without cutting the skin. The psychological impact of the weapon is an important element in this type of play.



Activities or practices that someone is unwilling to engage in (hard limits) or hesitant to try (soft limits).



"Littles" and "middles" are BDSM roles involving age regression. Littles exhibit childlike behaviors with caregivers, while middles show a mix of youthful and mature traits. These roles are consensual adult role plays and do not involve real minors.



Regularly scheduled spankings or disciplinary actions given to the submissive to address minor issues, reinforce proper behaviour, and allow the Dominant to release stress.



The enjoyment or sexual arousal derived from receiving pain or discomfort.



A person who derives pleasure or sexual gratification from experiencing pain, often in a consensual BDSM context.



A consensual power exchange relationship where one person (the Master) assumes control over another (the slave) for mutual benefit. This type of relationship often involves a 24/7 dynamic rather than being limited to specific scenes or periods of time. The slave may receive a collar from their Master as a symbol of ownership.



Role-playing or scenes involving medical equipment, aesthetics, and tools. It may include activities such as needle play and/or play piercing.



The Dominant partner in a D/s relationship who assumes a nurturing, caretaking role.



The process of immobilising the body by tightly wrapping it with multiple layers of thin plastic sheeting. Proper precautions must be taken to ensure breathing and safety, typically leaving the face (or at least the mouth and nose) uncovered. Mummification often enhances a sense of complete bodily helplessness and can be combined with sensation play.



A social gathering of BDSM enthusiasts in a non-kinky setting, often a restaurant or café, where participants interact and socialise while dressed in regular attire ("vanilla" clothing).


Needle Play:


The temporary insertion of sterile needles of various gauges into the body, typically for the duration of a scene.


Nose Torture:


A BDSM practice, often originating from Japanese culture, that involves engaging in activities focused on the nose, such as the use of nose hooks.


Nyotaimori:


The practice of using a person's body as a platter to serve sushi.



An abbreviation for "Over the Knee," commonly used in the context of spanking.



An individual who derives pleasure from experiencing a significant level of pain, regardless of their enjoyment of submission.



A sexual practice in which a woman uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate a man's anus.



A verb used to indicate engaging in BDSM activities, or an adjective used to describe specific BDSM interests. Examples include "needle play," "play piercing," "age play," and "play party."



A gathering or event within the BDSM community where multiple people engage in scenes and BDSM activities.


Play Piercing:


The temporary insertion of needles into the flesh for sensory stimulation or aesthetic purposes. Piercings may be arranged in designs across the body, or needles may be attached to strings or other objects to enhance sensation.



A "pleasure Dom" in BDSM is a Dominant partner who focuses on giving their submissive partner pleasurable and sensual experiences.



A professional male dominant who provides BDSM services in exchange for payment.



A professional female dominant who offers BDSM services in exchange for payment.



A BDSM role-playing scenario where the submissive is dressed as a pony, complete with a mouth bit and an anal plug with a tail. They are instructed to prance or behave like a pony.



The act of voluntarily transferring power, control, or sensation from one or more individuals to one or more other individuals. Consent is a fundamental aspect of healthy power exchange dynamics, regardless of their duration.



Engaging in role-playing where one or more participants act as a human puppy or kitten, with elements of power exchange often involved. This may include wearing costumes and using props such as leashes, collars, and food bowls.



A sexual preference involving animalistic behavior during intimacy, including scratching, biting, and animal-like sounds. Dominants are called primal hunters, while subs are primal prey.



The Princess submissive archetype infuses BDSM with regal elegance. They seek adoration and pampering, valuing their worth within submission.



The act of engaging in activities that involve torturing or inflicting sensations on the female genital area for sexual gratification.



It is an approach to BDSM that emphasises awareness of the potential risks involved in various activities while ensuring all participants provide informed consent.



The consensual role-playing or fantasy scenario involves acts of simulated non-consensual play, where one person takes on the role of the aggressor and the other person consents to be a participant in the fantasy.



In BDSM, a "rigger" is someone skilled in creating safe and artistic rope restraints for bondage. They focus on aesthetics and safety, using various knots and ropes to bind a submissive partner, evoking vulnerability and trust



Sexual activity involving intense physicality, such as biting, scratching, power play, or other forms of rough and aggressive behaviour.



The act of deriving pleasure from inflicting pain.

Sadist:


An individual who enjoys inflicting pain, often in a sexual context.



A person who derives pleasure from both giving and receiving pain.



A guiding principle followed by some BDSM practitioners to ensure the appropriateness of BDSM activities. Sometimes contrasted with RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink).



A pre-agreed upon word or signal used by the submissive or bottom to immediately stop BDSM activities, particularly in scenes involving consensual force.


Scat Play:


Engaging in sexual activities involving faeces.



A defined period of time during which BDSM activities take place. It can also refer to the BDSM community as a whole ("the Scene").



BDSM play focuses on exploring and pushing sensory limits, which may involve activities such as texture play, sensory deprivation, impact play, and edge play.



A specific type of top who finds their satisfaction in serving the needs and desires of the bottom, rather than deriving pleasure from sadism or dominance. See also: Top.



The act of intentionally limiting or removing one or more senses from a person. Examples include blindfolding, using earmuffs or headphones, or placing a bag over the head.



A Service submissive is someone who finds pleasure performing acts of service for their dominant.



Traditional Japanese rope bondage that focuses on aesthetic and visual appeal. Shibari utilises designated lengths and diameters of ropes. It has been adapted and combined with Western bondage styles in contemporary rope bondage practices.



A person, typically submissive, who consensually relinquishes complete control over one or more aspects of their life to another person, known as their Master or Mistress.



Activities or practices that someone may be hesitant or nervous to engage in but can potentially be negotiated or explored at a trial or beginner level within a scene.



The act of inserting metal rods or sounds into the urethral opening, typically for sexual stimulation. The term originated from a medical practice known as "sounding."



A physical condition experienced by a submissive after an intense BDSM session, often characterised by flu-like symptoms. Subdrop can last for several days and can be mitigated or prevented through proper aftercare.



A person who willingly relinquishes control, either temporarily or permanently, in a BDSM dynamic. Distinct from "bottom" or "slave."



A mental and emotional state of heightened euphoria and dissociation that a submissive or bottom may enter during a scene or when under the control of a Dominant or Top. The individual may feel disconnected from time, space, and their own body, with limited ability to communicate. It is essential for the Dominant or Top to take responsibility for the well-being of the sub in subspace.



The practice of partially or fully lifting a person off the ground, often using ropes or other equipment. Suspension is commonly seen in rope bondage, but proper knowledge of anatomy and safety precautions is crucial.



Originally an acronym for "Sadomasochism," S/M, SM, or S&M has become an inclusive term encompassing various forms of kink and BDSM practices.



An individual who enjoys taking on both the role of a top and a bottom, either within a single scene or on different occasions.



A relationship dynamic characterised by 24/7 male dominance within a monogamous marriage, with or without BDSM elements.



Keeping another person in a heightened state of arousal by intentionally delaying or denying their sexual release, creating a continual sense of anticipation, inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity. (Also referred to as orgasm denial).



Deliberately causing physical pain to the breasts and nipples.



The Next Generation. A term commonly used by BDSM groups and organisations catering to younger individuals between the ages of 18 and 35.



The person who takes the active role in BDSM activities (contrasted with "bottom," the person receiving the actions). It is important not to confuse this with "Dom," which refers to the person who orchestrates the scene. For example, a male Dom may enjoy CBT (cock and ball torture) and instruct a submissive on what to do. In this case, the Top assumes the submissive role (following the Dom's direction), and the bottom assumes the Dom role (receiving the attention of the Top).



A bottom who identifies as submissive but still desires to direct or control the top during BDSM activities.



An emotional, psychological, or physiological state that can occur after a BDSM scene, typically characterised by feelings of loss, loneliness, disgust, self-doubt, or sadness. Remedies may include cuddling, comforting activities, engaging in favourite hobbies, and enjoying nourishing food. (See also: subdrop).



Also known as "top frenzy," topspace refers to the mental and emotional state experienced by tops or dominants during a scene, characterised by a sense of all-powerful euphoria and a desire to continue without stopping. (See also: subspace).



A type of BDSM relationship where the dominant or owner has complete authority and influence over the submissive's life, making the majority of decisions.



The process in which a dominant teaches a submissive how to behave and act, either within a specific scene or as an ongoing effort to shape their behaviour.



A term used to describe individuals who are not interested in or involved in BDSM activities. It can also refer to sexual behaviour that does not involve BDSM elements. This term is sometimes used in a derogatory manner.


Warm Up:


The initial phase of a BDSM scene involving gentle play, designed to prepare the bottom physically and mentally for more intense activities. Warm-up activities may help trigger endorphin production, induce subspace, and initiate physiological changes, such as bringing fluids to the surface of the skin before impact play.



What It Is That We Do. A broad term encompassing all forms of alternative sexuality and BDSM practices.



A form of BDSM play where the dominant drips hot wax onto the submissive's body.



Engaging in play involving urine, such as playing with urine or urinating on one another. (See also: golden showers).



A device originally used in the medical field to test nerve sensitivity and response. In BDSM, a Wartenberg wheel is a small, spiked wheel that can be rolled over the skin to elicit different sensations. It can also be used in conjunction with electrical play.


Zentai:


A skintight Japanese body suit typically made of spandex and nylon, covering the entire body, including the face. While zentai is also worn by dance teams or athletes, some individuals find pleasure in the sensation of being completely covered and bound in tight fabric for kinky purposes.


The BDSM glossary will be updated frequently.


Nicholas Jardine 06/07/2023 ©


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